Evaluating Intercultural Behavior
"Remember that every good friend was once a stranger"
It may seem like a cliché to mention the above, but just how many of us actually understand its true intended message? In a modern city like Singapore, the urge to establish one’s existential individuality becomes so strong that often we find ourselves knowing and not knowing a person all at the same time. How often have we found ourselves referring to mere acquaintances as ‘friends’? Is this notion of friendship uniform in an increasingly globalized population?
The following intercultural situation revolves about my trip to the Maldives back in 2004, as part of a team from Project Initiate of the Peoples’ Association Youth Movement (PAYM). The mission was to complete the construction of a community center as well as a running 56.6K internet center.
 |
| The Team from Project Initiate in front of the groundwork for the community center |
Back when I was a freshman in National Junior College, a group of us (approximately 30) took part in Project Initiate, a community involvement project that sent us to the remote Kudafari Island of Noonu Atoll, the Maldives. The only impression I had in mind was that of the blue waters and white sands, nothing more. Prior to the trip I had the same worries as everyone else around me. How were we going to interact with the Divehi speaking Maldivians? How would they receive us? Would we be able to get used to their food culture in the course of 11 days?
The first culture shock I had struck me immediately as I exited the ferry boat upon reaching the island. There was no jetty installed at that time, and the waters near the land were too shallow for the boat to steer close. As such, the boat had to be docked a good 20 meters away from the sands (in chest-deep waters). As I stood portside of the boat, I noticed that the Maldivians had already anticipated our arrival. Almost the entire island’s population of about 600 was there at the beach to receive us. They were waving and cheering intensely with a genuine sense of hospitality. What took me aback was, however, the makeshift raft they had made and pulled out to sea for us to stand on. There they were, 20 men in chest-deep waters, tugging at the raft we stood upon back to the beach, so that we would not get our shoes wet.
 |
| On the way to the village chief's house |
Upon reaching dry ground, my team was led to the island chief’s house for a feast. As we walked, a good many of us had little children coming up to us to grab our hands. The stranger thing was that as I walked, a Maldivian boy just about my age came up my side and grabbed my hands as well. He gripped with interlocking fingers, and simply smiled to me as he carried on walking. I was shocked, especially from the fact that the gesture came from a 16 year old boy. However, seeing that the others had just about the same situation, I simply walked with him until we reached our destination.
The luncheon we had comprised a spread of Maldivian dishes (mainly fish and potatoes), as well as two whole roasted chickens. What we later found out was that these chickens were two of the five only chickens they had on the island. The Maldivians who were with us at the luncheon ate only the fish and staples, for fear that we might not have enough had they taken the chicken. We tried to get them to eat, but they just would not. Once again I was gravely humbled by the level of care these people showed.
The rest of the trip was spent building up both the internet and community centers. It soon dawn upon me that for the Maldivians on Kudafari island, such projects involved the everyone on the island. Some men would be working on the construction, while others went out to sea to fish for the day’s meals. The women would prepare all the meals on the island together, making sure that we had them enough every time.
 |
| A party at the Kudafari island village hall |
The entire experience at the Maldives was both humbling and inspiring for me. In a world where the cultures of capitalism and individualism permeate social geographies, it was shocking how the Maldivians of Kudafari island were able to redefine the concepts of empirical friendship and hospitality.
Both the makeshift raft and the simple but elegant spread at the luncheon were a thunderous bellow of care, generosity and kindness for us. The concept of ‘putting the guest before oneself’ never had a more apt example than this. In our context, we try to show as much generosity and concern for the guest as economically and physically possible. However, that did not mean putting ourselves in a very compromising situation. To the Maldivians, on the other hand, caring for the guest is tantamount to caring for one’s family. In the light of this, they have truly captured the essence of ‘going all out’ in caring for a complete stranger.
The way the Maldivian boy held my hand with interlocking fingers was, to them, a sincere show of immediate friendship. Of course in a Singaporean context this act would never be construed as ‘normal’, especially between males of similar ages. In retrospect, I felt that the Maldivians truly understand the intent of the quote stated at the beginning of this post. Friendship always began with complete strangers. The sooner we understand this fact, the sooner we are able to acquaint ourselves immediately with another individual. In fact, there should never be an awkward moment between oneself and another. In the Maldivians’ eyes, relatives, acquaintances, even strangers, are all alike. They are human, and therefore are friends. This notion transcends concepts of culture, race, religion, and even individuality.
2 comments:
What A WONDERFUL and truly enriching experience! I really envy you Jeremy:))
Hi Jeremy,
Wow! I marvel at the level of hospitality they displayed! They had almost the entire population welcoming your team’s arrival, specially made a make-shift raft for you, and killed two of the only five chickens they had to serve to you as guests! I mean, they were willing to sacrifice much to make you guests feel at home. When I was in NJC, I did hear of the Maldives CIP opportunity, but was not able to go. Hearing it from someone who experienced it first hand, I am truly awed at the way they treat a stranger as one’s own family. Perhaps for a small population where every person depends on one another for survival, they have established bonds among themselves akin to that of a family. The thought of isolating a person in their community would mean their end as no one survives alone. This was probably the reason why they value friendship more than anything else.
Yong Qiang
Post a Comment